On the Lot
by Legolas Anime Luver
Summary: What happens when the DBZ crew is actually making the series?


Dragonball Z: On the Lot = Chapter One

**SUMMARY & Author Notes: All characters are themselves on set of making the DBZ series. Director, Producer, and Cameraman are owned by me since they are Original Characters. Hope you all enjoy!**

Takes place After Buu and third Broly Movie, **GT does not exist**-it is a figment of all of our imagination.** SSJ 4 transformation does though.**

…..

…..

Hercule was walking back and forth, pacing in his bathrobe with a cigar in his arm that moved wildly, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T HAVE THE FUNDS AVAILABLE?"

"I'm sorry sir, but even if you cashed out your bonds you still do not have enough." Bank Teller

"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE FIRED!" Hercule then slammed the phone down and sat down on his chair shaking uncontrollably. "I'm done for! She'll kill me! I told her I would have the money today! Why do these things always happen to me!" Hercule said as he put his head in his hands when suddenly the talk show he had been watching brought him up.

"So you were saying that you are a big fan of Hercule Satan?" Host as pictures of his house was shown on TV having all kinds of fanatic memorabilia.

"Yes, I am. In fact my dream is that Hercule Satan would make a movie!" Guest

"A movie about his life?" Host

"ANY! He is so awesome I bet if he took on any role the movie would be super!" Guest

"THAT'S IT! I CAN MAKE A MOVIE! Yeah they would believe I was making a comedy, after all I would be acting so my reputation would be safe…wait but how can I get them to help me…I know I will ask Videl to talk to Gohan! Then he can talk to his dad, yeah…." Just then Hercule's phone rang and sure enough it was his daughter.

**AT CAPSULE CORP. TWO HOURS LATER**.

"Hercule wants us to make a movie?" Krillen looking at Gohan beside the others.

"Yep! Apparently he heard a fan desired it and wants to make everyone happy." Said Gohan looking at every one in turn as he answered there questions.

"You know it would be a lot of fun! Us in spotlights, pictures being taken left and right, women throwing themselves at us-" Krillen's forehead was suddenly slammed in to the table by his wife.

"You don't need "women" when you have "me" and besides I can make you see stars and lights any time, remember?" 18 said sweetly as she put her fist right in front of his face.

"You're right Honeybear." Krillen as he gulped.

"Why waste our time doing a movie when he is just going to cheat us out of our money?" Kid Trunks

"He put it in the contract that he was going to give us 80%" Gohan said showing it to Bulma.

"That still doesn't explain his strange attitude, think about it! Hercule-sharing the spotlight-something's up." Kid Trunks as he looked at Gohan, "I bet he is in a financial situation and can't pay 18 the money he owes her."

"Maybe, but I think it would be a great way to promote Capsule Corp. I'm in. Tell him, my company will also help him with the electronic dept. I'm sure he will need it if Vegeta and Goku are going to be a part of it." Bulma said looking at Vegeta who narrowed his eyes.

"You know, this movie would tell the truth about Hercule, so he just may want to get our secret with him off his chest." Goku knowing every one knew he meant the secret about Gohan being the one to defeat Cell.

"This would be a great opportunity, that and explain all about the Saiyans." Gohan wanting Vegeta to be a part of the movie, "What do you say Vegeta?"

"Kakkarot's said yes." Vegeta as if it explained everything, "so of course I'm in. No one else will be partaking in our battles but me." In his proud prince manner.

"Everything will be done exactly as it happened Vegeta, including how you lost to Goku, so are you sure you want to do this thing?" Piccolo wanting to make sure every one especially Vegeta understood the contract.

"Of course I'm sure, now zip it!" Vegeta

"My medic team will be the only ones patching you guys up-and since they believe you have undergone some experiments for Capsule Corp. they know your blood and bodies are different, so we do not have to worry about having to "explain" anything." Bulma knowing without a doubt, "incidents" would be occurring.

"This is a bad idea!" Kid Trunks said loudly, making sure he was heard, not liking this movie-idea at all. "You guys agreeing to this is stupid!"

"Trunks!" Bulma said warning him.

"Oh come on Mom, even you know that people who are in movies-especially successful ones-are followed everywhere not getting a moment's peace! On top of that, us having special abilities, will more than likely make us attracted to all sorts of weird people. Our lives will be watched every second of every day!" Kid Trunks said knowing this from watching his favorite celebrities.

"Trunks it won't be that bad, I'm sure Hercule will find a way to ensure our privacy." Yamcha said blowing the kid off like he did not know anything.

"Think about it Krillen, women will be throwing themselves at my feet! An old man's dream come true!" Master Roshi as he signed his signature.

Goku placed a hand on his shoulder as everyone talked about the movie ignoring the kid, "Don't worry Trunks, if you ever need an escape you know I have my instant transmission technique."

He then turned to Gohan so he could sign his signature in the right place.

Everyone had ignored Trunks, who just shook his head while feeling hurt that no one had listened to him.

Over the years Trunks had learn quite a lot, and had kicked his training in to over drive. Spending almost every day with his father in the gravity room, and if he wasn't there, he was training by himself at Korrin's tower in the Warrior's room, the same one that Goku had trained in, before he used the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. It was a lot of hard work, but Trunks had despised seeing his family struggle against Buu and Broly, so he silently vowed to be their protector.

Unfortunately though, he was still a kid of ten years, so naturally no one showed him respect and never bothered to listen to him.

"Wise beyond is years" give me a break." Kid Trunks silently shook his head trying to shake off being hurt, and walked to his father's gravity room. "I guess they will just have to experience the craziness before they will realize this is all a big mistake."

…..

…..

Sure enough the next day Kid Trunks and Goten were with the others meeting the Director and Producer. Contracts were signed and everyone was issued a scriptwriter who made sure to write down everything, exactly the way it happened, including the fight scenes and even things that did not matter. The Z Warriors double checked and then the interview went to script. As this occurred, Bulma revived everyone with the dragonballs, and explained everything to all the others who immediately loved the idea, and went to sign their own contract.

In the mid-afternoon they began the shoot.

Director approaches set, "All right! Goku, this is the scene in which Radditz approaches you and tells you that you are a Saiyan, and has come with his offer. Bulma, Master Roshi, and Krillen you are watching this happen. All right! Positions! Aaaand Action!"

"Kakkarot!" Radditz shouts as he lands.

"CUT! Sorry Radditz, but your hair is all wrong!" Shouts the Director, as he moves his forefinger to signal Hairstylist to fix his hair from his Director Chair "Okay! Take Two! Action!"

"Kah-" Radditz hair is blown by a heavy gust and it poofs into an afro-like style.

"CUT!" Director then watches as the hair gets fixed "Alright. Take three! Action!"

"…" Radditz as he stares at Goku whose just staring back, then looks at Director. "What's my line again?"

Everyone sweat-drops as Goku falls anime style.

"Cut!" Director who makes Cue-Boy go up and tell him his speech, "Alright. Take four! Action!"

"Kakarot why haven't you destroy-" Radditz began when suddenly a huge uproar was heard in the background.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ISN'T MY SCENE YET?"

"Vegeta we hav-"

"YOU! TELL ME NOW! WHY AREN'T WE ON MY SCENE YET?" Vegeta, as he walked angrily up to the Director, whose figure could be seen hiding behind the camera, shaking in fear.

"We are almost there Vegeta." The Director as he saw Vegeta glare at him.

"You better get to my scene by the end of today if you want to live, or I'll make sure you go to Hell!" Vegeta said as he walked out of the set area fuming.

"Right! Okay people places!" The Director shouted as he wiped his brow in relief with his handkerchief. "Action!"

Radditz was about to say his line when Perfect Cell landed right in front of him

"Do you want to live? Then you pitiful fools need Cell's Insurance! For a week you can remain alive just by handing over someone you hate! I'm not picky! Co-workers AND bosses could do! The principle at your school! Kids you can even hand over your own parents!"

Androids 17 and 18 flew at top speed on to the scene, 17 carrying a huge body-bag present and 18 carrying a small round present that was dripping red and rattled.

"Here you go! Old, stupid, senile, and wrapped!" 17 said happily as he dropped the body bag-like present at Cell's feet as 18 handed him the round bag.

Cell looked at the present in his hands and then noticed the cameraman was recording him, and blew the camera up with a ki blast.

"Cell! STOP BLOWING UP THE CAMERAS! THAT IS ALREADY FIFTY THIS MONTH! WE HAVE A BUDGET AND WE ONLY HAVE TWENTY CAMERAS THAT HAS GOT TO LAST US THROUGH THE MONTH! WHICH IS STILL THREE WEEKS FROM NOW! UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO COME OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK…" The Director sees Perfect Cell glare at him, shudders and shakes his head, "Get out of here until we call you for your scene." He then shouts for new camera.

Perfect Cell glared at him one more time, and leaves but not after he posts his commercialize posters on the set, and sees the Stage Guard and grabs him by his shirt.

"You. Listen. Just for you for the next ten minutes you get a two for two sale! Two lives saved for two people you hate You and somebody else saved -could be your lover, could be your wife, or somebody else like your child-for two people you hate -could be your boss, coworker, In-laws, or even your lawyer. Remember the clock is ticking." Cell then gave a gracious bow and left the set. The Stage Guard immediately followed him out as Yajirobe came in and set down the camera as Cameraman fixes it up.

"ALRIGHT!" Director says as Radditz took a look at his script. "THIS IS THE SCENE WHERE PICCOLO COMES IN AND TEAMS UP WITH GOKU!"

Piccolo arrives on the set and marched up to the Director, "You expect me to do what?"

"You. Team up with Goku to defeat Radditz." Director as he looked up expectantly at Piccolo for reassurance that he heard him.

Piccolo just blinked.

"Piccolo aren't you the one with the good ears, but if you need me to repeat myself I will." Director as he is about to repeat himself.

Piccolo grabbed him and pulled him up so he could see him eye to eye, suddenly there was a large bang as the doors of the set flew open once more.

"AREN'T WE AT MY SCENE YET? WHAT'S THE HOLD UP! HOW LONG DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WAIT IN THIS SPANDEX! I'M THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS! ME? IN SPANDEX! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BINDING THESE CLOTHES ARE? AND THESE BOOTS! THEY ARE WHITE! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP THESE BOOTS CLEAN! WHO EVEN THOUGHT OF THESE CLOTHES! WHERE'S THE COSTUME DESIGNER! I'LL BLAST HIM TO THE NEXT DIMENSION! AND WHY HASN'T ANYONE ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS!" Vegeta stopped talking and looked around expectantly for someone to answer him when he saw Piccolo holding the director. Vegeta gave a quick smirk.

"I didn't know we were doing a love scene, please excuse the interruption." He turned around as the costume designer followed him out, and shut the door, his laughter could be heard all the way down the hall.

Piccolo threw the Director on the floor, turning around, "Just shoot this damn scene already. I haven't got all day."

Since Piccolo strives for perfection, the scene was done in one shot.

Just as they were finishing the scene and the director screamed Cut! The doors flew open once more with a loud bang. Everyone turned around and saw someone coming in shouting.

"HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT! TELL ME IF MY HEAD'S ON FIRE! HOT! HOT! HOT!"

Piccolo went up to him and slapped him on the back of his head making him fall to the ground.

Director got up and rushed over, "What's the problem?"

"Look I know I have to wax my head, and hey I have no problem. But does it have to be _hot wax_? I mean look my head is all red!" Krillen as he bowed his head, "I mean, how red can my head get?"

Hairstylist rushed up, and grabbed his arm to lead him back to the Makeup room to finish his makeup. They slammed the door shut. His scream could be heard from outside.

"I'M HERE TO COLLECT! WHO CALLED? Or scream should I say?" Perfect Cell eagerly from a side room.

"Cell get out of here and no we don't need your help!" The Director as he pushed him out the door then slammed it shut, then turned around but then as if he had an idea turned around to look at the door and where he was, "Where did that room come from?"

The Director exasperated put his right hand to his forehead, and then sighed, looking around he noticed the next scene was in place ready to go.

The Director noticing that Goku and Piccolo were getting ready for there next scene began to dial his voicemail to hear his messages when he heard a ruckus from the makeup room, and went to see what the problem was.

Entering the first room he noticed a makeup artist putting bruises and blood on Goku's face, and started to make a fat lip on him. Goku facing the artist and not the mirror had no idea what was being done and just let the artist do their thing. Closing the door he went to the second one.

Piccolo was another story; two artists were putting a green wrap on Piccolo's left arm, as a third was painting on blood as if it was ripped off.

"LOOK! It would be a lot faster if I lost my arm for real! I can re-grow it faster than this stupid process!" Piccolo ripped off the green cloth shoved the director in to a pile of makeup and left the room. Goku followed after him.

"Well I guess we are ready!" Said Goku as he and Piccolo went towards the set, as the Director climbed in to his chair as the first aid people began nursing him back to health, he shouted "SHOOT IT!"

"Goku in all of our battles, I've never seen you like that." Piccolo said gaping at Goku.

Goku looked at him curiously wondering why they seemed so shell-shocked.

Radditz who was there the whole time was jaw-dropped by Goku's appearance. He immediately went up to his younger brother and pulled out his mirror from inside his shirt and showed him his reflection.

"WAAAHH-Wow…uh…well, they sure are imaginative aren't they? Uh…EXCUSE ME! Can someone take this off? I mean if Chichi saw me she'd kill me for real, and I just came back from the dragonballs so I can't be wished back for the rest of the year!" Goku as he looked for one of the makeup people, but then saw Gohan come running up to him followed by young Goten, who just left the make-up room to prepare for being Gohan's stand-in for the Saiyan/Frieza Saga.

Gohan came up and took off Goku's makeup making him look normal.

Leaving the painted backdrop, Goku shouted, "Let's just shoot it normally. Piccolo! Radditz! Let's fight!"

Without another word being said they got in to it for real! Fighting normally!

By the time the director yelled cut, because the cameras couldn't keep up, Goku had natural bruises that looked normal on him making him fit for the scene. However, nobody knew that it was Piccolo who made the bruises because it was just a "normal" training session for Goku and Piccolo. Radditz however, was not able to keep up but since they could not pick up the fight on camera nobody noticed that. Gohan and Goten shouted, "Alright!" in sequence and shouted and cheered on the side until they heard the Director shout cut over the bullhorn.

"Awwww." They said in unison wanting to see the training session continue until the end.

The Director however, had another thought, "You guys got to go slower! We could not get anything on camera!"

"Get better cameras." Piccolo turned, and looked at the Director.

"Piccolo you know we got the best ones in the catalog! And the others are not able to come in until next month!" Director as he continued to delete the scene due to it just being five minutes worth of nothing on the camera.

"Get them here faster." Piccolo

"Piccolo we'll try! Everybody go slower, and stop shaking the room. Okay?" Director

"Slower? Well, I guess we'll have to keep our chi down. Okay! Let's do it!" Goku got in to his stance where he kept Radditz still so Piccolo could destroy him.

"ACTION! TAKE TWO!" Director

"Piccolo! HURRY!" Goku

"Fine by me!" Piccolo as he fired his beam, "SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!"

However due to all the power that Radditz sensed, he immediately did what came natural and dropped down to the ground ducking, taking Goku with him falling to the ground making it go straight to the next scene and destroyed the room, and half the break room. along with the props they were using for their set.

Yajirobe came out of the room wobbling and coughing a few times then fell to the floor. Oolong came out smelling like Hickory Smoke bacon, unfortunately for him he caught the attention of the Saibamen who chased after him hungrily, but were knocked unconscious as the Cell Juniors decided to fly after him.

.

"CUT! DO OVER!" Director as he got some of his people to start cleaning up and fixing up the set and room.

"Do. Over? Why?" Goku as he wondered what the problem was-minus Radditz being alive.

As the new props were just being placed as the old ones were being sent to the backstage section the doors flew open with a loud bang, slamming against the walls creating an echoing bang.

"WHERE THE HELL IS THE DIRECTOR?" Bulma, seeing him, stomped up to the director, "Look at my hair! Just look at it!"

"Well it's blue." Director said honestly not noticing a problem.

"Do you see the problem?" Bulma having a dark blue/ purple mix shade hair, to which it was a dark blue almost light violet shade of color.

"Uhhh." Director

"IT'S INDIGO BLUE! MY HAIR IS NOT INDIGO BLUE! MY BOX COLOR IS 54J! THIS IS 98K! Can you see the problem here?" Bulma

Goku walked up to her, "Hey Bulma your hair coloring almost looks like Trunks! I thought you were naturally light blue."

"I AM GOKU! Natural sky blue! But look at what they did! I WANT THIS FIXED NOW! THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE EVEN TOUCHED IT BUT THEY DID!" Bulma making the Director grimaced he immediately called in his fourth makeup/hair style team.

She then left with them, as one of the hair stylists' shut the stage doors.

The director flopped in to his chair, "Action," he said warily, they then finished the scene and saga all the way to where Vegeta and Nappa come in.

They then had a fifteen minute break, which gave the Prop and Set people time to set up the next scene outside.

"CALL FOR VEGETA! CALL FOR VEGETA! LINE 5! COME TO COM. BOX 4 TO RECEIVE!" A lady's voices on the speakers announced.

Vegeta passed through the set, ignoring everyone, crossing to the communication's box number four in his blue Saiyan outfit that he was to wear for his first appearance in the Saiyan Saga.

**..…IN THE CAFETERIA….**

Eighteen and Seventeen were glaring at Incomplete Cell, who looked hungrily back at them.

One Table stood in between them.

"Leave us Alone. We bought Perfect Cell's Insurance Policy!" 17 as he held the certificate.

"That doesn't matter one bit. The two of you and me are to merge in to the Ultimate Being that is our destiny." Incomplete Cell as he lunged at them when suddenly a green tail wrapped around him and made him drop on to the table.

"Do you really think I am one that goes back on my word? Idiot." Perfect Cell said as he picked up his alternate universe self and made him hit the ceiling then back to the floor repeatedly as he went out of the double doors. "See you two in the near future." He then waved and dragged his other self out the door, handing out fliers of his insurance policy to anyone coming towards the cafeteria on his way out, using his tail to make sure his other self hit everything but his possible customers.

"It…worked…" 17 and 18 turning to each other, the same shock look mirrored on both their faces.

…**IN THE PARKING LOT….**

Yamcha was arguing with a security guard about his parking ticket.

"Look, I told you it was not here before! The fire hydrant was over there! Look on your cameras!" Yamcha as he pointed to the fire hydrant that somehow moved.

"Look, we know it was here this whole entire time, so either pay the fine or have your car be towed." Security guard as he continued to read his newspaper with his feet on his desk, drinking his cup of coffee in his Toll booth, thinking 'Celebrities! Always thinking they can get away with everything!'

Chibi Trunks smiled as he picked up the fire hydrant and placed it near Hercule's car, and then smiled as he ran back in to his trailer to fix the security cameras' footage from his computer.

"A~ah, I'm feeling better already." He said as he stretched and then sat down to fix the computer footage.

TO BE CONTINUED…


End file.
